Running Realism

I am a runner. I run. I didn't used to be. Specifically, I was not a runner until one fateful Christmas when my sister and I thought of the brilliant idea of running a 5k together. I bought new shoes (a month later) and I started to run.

It was a lot harder than I thought. I didn't really like it, but I had a goal... the 5k in June. My sister would be home for summer break and we would complete our first 5k race, side by side.

By May, I was able to run for 20 minutes straight as I pondered the positive home pregnancy test from that morning. Even thought I had doctor clearance, the baby soon took over my body and the 5k plan was "right out!"

Somehow I revived the goal and trained enough t0 complete my first 5k less than 5 months after the baby was born. I was by far the slowest runner at 39+ minutes (half way through the race, all runners were so far ahead of me, they were out of sight), but I never walked.

This year, carrying 15 less pounds and fully recovered from pregnancy, I was certain I would blast that slow time out of the water. Well, the race is tomorrow, and in the last 2 months, I've run, let's see, 1, 2, 3, 4... ya, that's it, four times. Three of which were in the last week. Now I just hope to run the whole thing. Who cares about the time?

Here's the weirdest part of the whole thing. I don't really like running very much. After the first 10 minutes, I don't like how I feel when I run. My right hip always hurts for days after and it causes sciatic pain to flare up on my left side. Plus, there's the toe pain and the headaches.

I'm not complaining. I don't have to run. I know that. I've just been trying to figure out why I do it. I think to me it has to do with pushing myself. Running represents me taking ownership of my body, my mind, my soul and pushing all aspects of me to be more capable than I thought possible, healthier than before, stronger and more determined.

Pushing through something unpleasant for all the positive effects is something very important to me these last few years, and especially now. So, I will keep running, certainly not because I like it, but because it is one of the most positive influences in my life these days.

I am a runner. I run.