My oldest son isn't with me today. He spent last night at my parents, a delayed birthday tradition. There was a snowstorm during the first attempt. This date was the make-up date and Eddie was not about to let anything stop him this time; not even a broken arm. We talked about rescheduling, but he was resolute.
Only 24 hours after breaking his arm, he departed for Grandma and Grandpa's (a.k.a. Baba). Eddie is a very sensitive kid; as in he is very aware of his needs and emotions. So, he knew he needed to be cared for and loved right now, while the pain was still at it's worst. Plus he is grieving the loss of his passion for the next 2 months, Taekwondo.
I have to say, I am really struggling with the fact that it is not me providing that for him. I feel bound, I feel restricted. This is uncomfortable. I should be caring for my baby. I know he is in amazing hands. My parents are truly wonderful. Still, I have this deep, uncontrollable need to care for my hurting child.
It's strange, the timing. This isn't the first time he ended up at Grandma and Baba's at a pinnacle point in his life. Four years ago, he witnessed another Grandfather (his namesake) pass away. It was the night before Eddie's birthday, the night before he was going to spend the night at Grandma and Baba's. That time we also discussed cancelling, and it was hard to let him go, but that was where he was meant to be.
There are some very clear moments in my children's lives where I feel God is at work. It seems obvious that some events were planned and happened just as they should. For Eddie, these moments when he ends up at Grandma and Baba's seem fall into that category for sure. I'm sure he will never forget the nights he spent there when he needed love, support and reassurance the most.
I think I'll feel unsettled until he returns to my care, but he is where he is supposed to be and I am thankful.
