Calgon (or in my case - work), Take Me Away

I've been a mom for over 11 years. It is a 24/7 job. Even when I sleep, I am on call. My cell phone is always with me in case there is an emergency at school. My schedule usually revolves around the kids. Most of the things I do when I am at home have to do with them: cleaning, cooking, laundry, organization, communication. It really never stops and it is always revolving. I am ALWAYS a mom, on duty.

I've worked at our personal business out of the home for the whole duration of my motherhood. I'd like to say that has given me something of my own, but it hasn't. It is my husband's business primarily. Even though it has been our family's sole livelihood for 11 years, it has failed to provide any substantial fulfillment or respite for me. Seriously, I can see and hear everything in our house from our office. That is hardly a break.

And now, for the first time in these 11 years, I have a job out of the home. The job does not relate to my husband and it is not 2 feet away from my mothering duties. It takes me away, almost like a Calgon bath.
I keep myself very busy at my new job. I'd hate to say I am really taking a break, because I work hard and try to make sure I am worthwhile to the non-profit organization that has put its trust in me. Still, it is a world of my own, separate from my children and my family. It really feels like a wonderful break.

It's hard for me to figure out why I was ever hesitant to go back to work. Yes, I miss my baby when I am working during the day, and we've had to reorganize how our family accomplishes chores, but the payoff is worth it. I'm not even referring to the paycheck. I am referring to my new identity and respite from the Mom-job that never sleeps.

While at work, I do keep my cell phone in my pocket, just in case my husband has a question or the children have an issue at school, but it's my turf, and I love it.