Thursday, I was smacked upside the head with God's sovereignty.
Almost ten years ago, my sister died of leukemia. I was very angry and I did not even want to think that God could use this for his purposes, for his glory. I was too disturbed that something so painful could happen in my life and he could use it for good.
I've gone through a lot in the last nine and a half years. And, recently, I'd finally become ready for him to use that portion of my life for his plans. I was ready to permit him to do this. How audacious and naive is that? Low an behold, God didn't need me.
I started to attend a Bible study a few weeks ago out of obedience to God's prompting. I didn't not expect anyone to know me or anything about my sister. The third study in, I found out that there were several women in my study that were affected by Sherri's illness and ultimately her death. One of them, in an extremely personal way. My sister's husband helped her through a difficult time when she had to endure the death of someone very close. Her intro into sharing this with me was startling, like mystery being revealed, like God gave her the words that would capture and mystify me with his glory. She said, "I have to say this. Before our first Bible study, I knew you." The realization that we were linked intimately through my sister before we ever met exposed a fragment of God's perfect, intricate ways.
So, here I was thinking that I was finally ready for God to use this tragedy for his purposes. (How gracious of me.) But he was SOVEREIGN. He did not need me. I was smacked upside the head with his sovereignty. It's as if he said, "It's great that you're going to let me use you now." (And I am going to let him use me.) "But I was going to use it anyway, whether you cooperated or not." You see, he is sovereign and he will work all things together for his good, regardless of me or anyone else. And I am so thankful for that. Thank God that it is not up to me being ready. God is greater than that.
Showing posts with label family. Show all posts
Showing posts with label family. Show all posts
Sunday, October 30, 2011
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
The Dirty Sock Blog
Let's talk about socks. Dirty Socks. They are all over my home!
(Disclaimer: No photos in this blog are staged. No socks have been tampered with, augmented, situated or otherwise manipulated. All photos are candid, as is, discoveries.)
When the kids were little, expected things were left around the house, for sure. Sippy cups, stuffed animals, blankets, toys. I anticipated that with having little kids. Now my little kids are bigger kids. They are developing autonomy and focused thinking. For example, one will be so focused on relieving his raised body temperature that he doesn't even pay attention to where he is discarding the dirty socks that he is removing! Seriously.
And last but not least, my all time favorite, an American classic...
My boys are 12, almost 10 and almost 8. I have a feeling that this will be a part of my life for many years to come... Lord help me.
(Disclaimer: No photos in this blog are staged. No socks have been tampered with, augmented, situated or otherwise manipulated. All photos are candid, as is, discoveries.)
When the kids were little, expected things were left around the house, for sure. Sippy cups, stuffed animals, blankets, toys. I anticipated that with having little kids. Now my little kids are bigger kids. They are developing autonomy and focused thinking. For example, one will be so focused on relieving his raised body temperature that he doesn't even pay attention to where he is discarding the dirty socks that he is removing! Seriously.
 |
| Exhibit A - The Kitchen Table |
 | ||||||
| Exhibit B - On Top of the Dresser |
 |
| Exhibit C - On The Toys |
 |
| Exhibit D - Next to the Shower |
 |
| Exhibit E - In the Living Room |
 | ||||||||
| Exhibit F - Next to the Wii Fit Board |
And last but not least, my all time favorite, an American classic...
 | ||||
| Exhibit G - On the Floor. Right in Front of the Hamper. |
My boys are 12, almost 10 and almost 8. I have a feeling that this will be a part of my life for many years to come... Lord help me.
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
Snow Day 2010
So, Saturday and Sunday were the days of the big blizzard. Over a foot of snow followed by ten below wind chills.
Sunday morning started out like this:
Fun! Church was canceled and the boys played in the snow for hours. They also did much of the shoveling. My daughter and I watched through the window, nice and cozy inside. Could the day get any better? Sure it could! We could have hot chocolate and watch the Packers pummel the Detroit Lions. It's gonna be a great day...
Then... the cable/phone/internet service went out. Wait! I haven't set up my fantasy football team yet! I asked my sister to text me updates of the Packer game until I remembered we could listen on the radio. (Apparently I've forgotten about old-school technology.) I texted my sister, "At least we have power." Then, finally, not too long into the game the cable came back. Yes! So we settle down to watch the Packers... get pummeled by Detroit. Hey! Something does not feel right about this day.
I got tired of the Packers horrific showing and went outside to unearth my cars from the mounds of snow that were strangling them. When I came in for a break to get warm, Dan was putting batteries in our boombox to find out what was happening with the Packers. The power had gone. Drat! I jinxed us.
After 2 hours of no power, I packed some bags and made possible overnight plans for us, just in case. It got dark. We lit candles and the boys ran around with my baby girl and her Hippo flashilight. They were having a blast.
We saw lots of utility company trucks scurrying from transformer to transformer trying to find the problem. The power came on. Yay!!!!!! Turned on lights, blew out candles. Then, the power went off. Drat again!! We re-lit the candles and made plans to go out to dinner and have a belated celebration for our oldest son getting his black belt in Taekwondo. (All the while the candles were lit, my little girl kept singing Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you. That was pretty sweet.) Then, boom! The lights went on. Yay! No blowing out the candles just yet. And, the lights when off. Triple Drat!!!
Okay, this is getting too long. We went out to a fun dinner and came home 2 hours later (going on 7 hours of power out.) We drove into our neighborhood with much anticipation. Quadruple Drat!!!! The street lights were still out. But, the untility trucks were still to be seen, so we had hope. We decided to stay home and risk it. I bundled my baby up in 3 layers of jammies and put here to bet with her light-up lullaby dolls. The boys and I set up our "Sorry" game in the living room with lots of candles. 
We all snuggle under a blanket, read the directions and... Boom! The power came on. No!!!!!! The boys all wanted it to stay off, they were having so much fun. So, we kept the ights out and the candles on and played our game for 2 hours. The house gradually warmed up and, as it turns out, we had a very fun and memorable day. I think we will never forget it. No more "drats," just fond memories.Monday, December 6, 2010
Christmas Tree Time
In about a week, my kids and I will venture out to find our 2nd "real" Christmas tree. I can't stop thinking about our experience last year with our first "real" tree. And so I am inclined to repost last year's musing. Enjoy! And... Merry Christmas!
Ornaments of Life - Dody's Daydreams, December 18th, 2009
We've had a fake Christmas tree for 10 years. It was easier when we had three preschoolers. No chasing kids through massive tree lots while my hubby and I bicker over the "right" tree. No falling needles to be eaten and choked on. No forgetting to water the tree because I have laundry and spit-up and diaper rash on the brain.
After the boys got bigger, it was a habit we were in. We have the tree, so why go pay $40 for another one, real or not?
Then came the kittens. The kittens loved to climb and bat at things and play! The Christmas tree became their own private amusement park. We tried to deter them by squirting water at them. That was only a temporary fix. When we slept, they played. Every morning I found misplaced and broken ornaments. Eventually, several branches would accompany the glass shards on the floor. By New Years Day, they had left their permanent mark. The fake tree we had used for 10 years was unrepairable.
This Thanksgiving, my hubby picked up a new fake tree, by my request. However, it just didn't sit right with us. It was time to create a new Christmas tradition. I returned the plastic tree, tightly stuffed into it's box and two weeks later we ventured out into the snowy night to buy a real tree.
The experience was great. No arguing, a warm campfire, a tractor-pulled hayride through the beautiful tree farm. It was perfect.
The next day we erected our gorgeous tree. (I'm certain it was the best one on the lot and only fools came before us, why else was is still there waiting for us?) With three little helpers, it seemed almost magical how quickly the tree transformed. Lights and garland and ornaments were flying onto the tree.
An ornament my son made as a toddler, another that his brother made in pre-school, another that was a gift from my stepmom; "Oh, I love this one." "Grandma bought these for us, one snowman for each of us." "Oh look, a handcrafted angel from Stella!" "Nana helped you make that one." "You made this one with your Aunt Jamie." "Mom, remember these from our old neighbors." "Ahaha... this one is from my sister. I miss her." "Baby's First Christmas, one for each of you."
The memories of our loved ones and past Christmases flooded every open space on the tree. Many of the people from these memories aren't here anymore, but these decorations, these ornaments, these precious trinkets, they represent life. My life, my children's' lives, my relatives lives. This tree may be a living tree, but it wasn't truly brought to life until it was donned with our treasures.
The kids are already planning which ornaments they will take with them when they grow up and move out. The memories will live on with them for years to come.
Maybe I am just more sentimental this year, maybe it's because our tree is living, maybe I am intoxicated by the smell of pine; but I know that I am smitten with this tree that is very much alive.
Ornaments of Life - Dody's Daydreams, December 18th, 2009
We've had a fake Christmas tree for 10 years. It was easier when we had three preschoolers. No chasing kids through massive tree lots while my hubby and I bicker over the "right" tree. No falling needles to be eaten and choked on. No forgetting to water the tree because I have laundry and spit-up and diaper rash on the brain.
After the boys got bigger, it was a habit we were in. We have the tree, so why go pay $40 for another one, real or not?
Then came the kittens. The kittens loved to climb and bat at things and play! The Christmas tree became their own private amusement park. We tried to deter them by squirting water at them. That was only a temporary fix. When we slept, they played. Every morning I found misplaced and broken ornaments. Eventually, several branches would accompany the glass shards on the floor. By New Years Day, they had left their permanent mark. The fake tree we had used for 10 years was unrepairable.
This Thanksgiving, my hubby picked up a new fake tree, by my request. However, it just didn't sit right with us. It was time to create a new Christmas tradition. I returned the plastic tree, tightly stuffed into it's box and two weeks later we ventured out into the snowy night to buy a real tree.
The experience was great. No arguing, a warm campfire, a tractor-pulled hayride through the beautiful tree farm. It was perfect.
The next day we erected our gorgeous tree. (I'm certain it was the best one on the lot and only fools came before us, why else was is still there waiting for us?) With three little helpers, it seemed almost magical how quickly the tree transformed. Lights and garland and ornaments were flying onto the tree.
An ornament my son made as a toddler, another that his brother made in pre-school, another that was a gift from my stepmom; "Oh, I love this one." "Grandma bought these for us, one snowman for each of us." "Oh look, a handcrafted angel from Stella!" "Nana helped you make that one." "You made this one with your Aunt Jamie." "Mom, remember these from our old neighbors." "Ahaha... this one is from my sister. I miss her." "Baby's First Christmas, one for each of you."
The memories of our loved ones and past Christmases flooded every open space on the tree. Many of the people from these memories aren't here anymore, but these decorations, these ornaments, these precious trinkets, they represent life. My life, my children's' lives, my relatives lives. This tree may be a living tree, but it wasn't truly brought to life until it was donned with our treasures.The kids are already planning which ornaments they will take with them when they grow up and move out. The memories will live on with them for years to come.
Maybe I am just more sentimental this year, maybe it's because our tree is living, maybe I am intoxicated by the smell of pine; but I know that I am smitten with this tree that is very much alive.
Friday, November 12, 2010
The Best Mom in the Whole World
Happy Birthday Mom!
My kids tell me I’m the best mom in the whole world. I believe that they really think it is true, but I know the truth... My mom is the best mom in the whole world.
Starting from my earliest memory, my mom’s unconditional love has shone constant, like the sun on the brightest of days. She never backed down from discipline and always expected me to live up to the potential God instilled in me. She has modeled eternal priorities and has never been bashful about her true passion in life… Jesus.
We’ve endured things together. They’ve all been markedly harder for her than me, and I’ve watched her handle, with God’s strength and grace; betrayal & divorce, the early and unexpected death of her beloved father, court battles with my dad, financial hardship, job instability, the death of her first born daughter, the divorces of two other daughters… Yet she has never lost grasp of God’s joy in her.
She is my hero. Yes, she is a real person with many flaws and quirks, but she, aside from God, is most responsible for every good thing in me. My mom is the best mom in the whole world.
Happy Birthday Mom!
I love you with all my heart.
Dedo
My kids tell me I’m the best mom in the whole world. I believe that they really think it is true, but I know the truth... My mom is the best mom in the whole world.
Starting from my earliest memory, my mom’s unconditional love has shone constant, like the sun on the brightest of days. She never backed down from discipline and always expected me to live up to the potential God instilled in me. She has modeled eternal priorities and has never been bashful about her true passion in life… Jesus.
We’ve endured things together. They’ve all been markedly harder for her than me, and I’ve watched her handle, with God’s strength and grace; betrayal & divorce, the early and unexpected death of her beloved father, court battles with my dad, financial hardship, job instability, the death of her first born daughter, the divorces of two other daughters… Yet she has never lost grasp of God’s joy in her.
She is my hero. Yes, she is a real person with many flaws and quirks, but she, aside from God, is most responsible for every good thing in me. My mom is the best mom in the whole world.
Happy Birthday Mom!
I love you with all my heart.
Dedo
Thursday, November 4, 2010
Dinner or Leaf Pile?
(As previously required for me to express, sorry for major blogging drought. Party Foul!)
So, during the last two days, I was faced with the same decision, twice! Dinner or leaf pile? Both times, I chose leaf pile.
We have a huge maple tree in our backyard that drops leaves a bit late in the season. The kids wait and wait as they see nearly all the other leaves in our and surrounding counties succumb to the season and drop to the earth. They wait, and they watch our maple. In late October, it finally decides to let the leaves lighten to shades of yellow-ish green. To be honest, our first fall in this house, I felt whamboozled that my glorious maple only kinda-sorta embraces the leaf changing phenomenon by barely, whimpily and subtlely altering leaf pigmentation, then clinging to it's leaves until the freezing weather comes forcing me to clean up it's massive shedding while I get chilled to the bone. Talk about a party foul!
Anyway, I digress. The leaves have finally, mostly fallen. And, I guess I've unnecessarily complained about it being November when the leaves fall because it's actually been very mild here this year. So, two days in a row I was faced with the choice of making dinner for my family, or playing with them in the massive leaf pile. Both times I chose the later. Was there really much of a choice? I only really cook a dinner two or three a week if the family is lucky, once if they are not. So frozen pizza and Burger King it was.
So, during the last two days, I was faced with the same decision, twice! Dinner or leaf pile? Both times, I chose leaf pile. We have a huge maple tree in our backyard that drops leaves a bit late in the season. The kids wait and wait as they see nearly all the other leaves in our and surrounding counties succumb to the season and drop to the earth. They wait, and they watch our maple. In late October, it finally decides to let the leaves lighten to shades of yellow-ish green. To be honest, our first fall in this house, I felt whamboozled that my glorious maple only kinda-sorta embraces the leaf changing phenomenon by barely, whimpily and subtlely altering leaf pigmentation, then clinging to it's leaves until the freezing weather comes forcing me to clean up it's massive shedding while I get chilled to the bone. Talk about a party foul!
Anyway, I digress. The leaves have finally, mostly fallen. And, I guess I've unnecessarily complained about it being November when the leaves fall because it's actually been very mild here this year. So, two days in a row I was faced with the choice of making dinner for my family, or playing with them in the massive leaf pile. Both times I chose the later. Was there really much of a choice? I only really cook a dinner two or three a week if the family is lucky, once if they are not. So frozen pizza and Burger King it was. But you see, who cares? We got to do this...
and this...
I think I made the right decision.
I rest my case.
Sunday, September 19, 2010
I'd Be Lost
I'd be lost without my handy dandy cell phone. Truly lost.
It's smudged and chipped. It's been through many falls. It almost landed in the lake three weeks ago. Oh my gosh! I would have died.
(My wallpaper is Grover in a chrysalis. Not a scarf, a chrysalis, as so beautifully done by my 4-year-old God-daughter who recently had her own caterpillars transform into butterflies.)
It's been said that every time a woman has a baby, she loses a quarter of her brain. I have four kids. Do the math.
Actually, I must be pretty smart to use my phone to compensate for my brain degeneration, though I would argue my brain is just fine and it is the pure chaos of my life that leaves me mentally challenged.
My phone has a calendar. Each event on the calendar can have a reminder alarm. I use this on every event in my life. (To think my calendar used to serve more as a record of the past since I never forgot my appointments.) As an extreme precaution, I even use it for my set work schedule. When the alarm sounds, my husband will say, "What's that beeping for?" I usually say, "I don't know. I have to check." It could be anything from "I have to go to work now" to "remember to wash your children's sports uniforms."
This phone also wakes me up every morning. I'm all for consolidating gadgets because we have so many possessions in our house with six people living here. Alarm clock was acting funny. Tossed it. Use the phone.
My little sister and I hate talking on the phone, but love sharing random daily happenings from the benign to the intense to the strange. We text... a lot. It's how we stay connected and close. I love my phone for this!
My phone takes crappy pictures. But, hey, it takes pictures. You see, I have four kids. They are adorable and there are always things to take pictures of. However, I have yet to set an alarm on my phone to remind me to take my camera with me when we go out, so I don't usually have it. At least I have my phone.
Did I mention it is also my mp3 player?
I'd be lost without my LG. I love it!
Friday, September 17, 2010
The 8 Question Query (from my baby sis)
My sister recently responded to an 8 question blog request from a friend. She extended the challenge to me, so here goes:
1. What are your top 2 cities in the world? (It's okay if you've never been there!)
I've been to both cities. Well, mostly London, which I LOVED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My Moscow experience was the airport, a cab ride on the freeway past IKEA to McDonald's, and back to the airport. Does that count? I want to really see Moscow though. I am fascinated by Russia and it's history. Such an interesting, artistic culture mixed with success, oppression, pain and brilliance.
2. Are you doing what you love or doing what you have to?
Yes and no. I love being a mom and I love my job. One of my biggest passions lies in worship ministry, which I am not doing. I have to trust God's timing on that one. I miss it.
3. Coffee or tea?
Yes! See T is for Tea.
4. Describe the moment in your life when you felt the most loved.
This question is a little too deep for my generally light-hearted blog. My God makes me feel the most loved, usually through rough times and intimate moments. My mom, hubby, sister and children make me feel most loved too.
5. Who do you think had the single biggest impact on your life so far?
The death of my sister.
6. What song lyrics say exactly what you're feeling right now?
"I hate that stupid old pick-up truck..."
7. Pro sports or college ball?
Dude. Pro all the way. Go Packers!
8. What book do you really, really want to see made into a movie?
Hmmm..... Hmmmm..... I never really get to the good books until they've already been made into a movie. I'd love to see The Shack as movie, but it would be impossible to capture. It would dumb it down to our visual limitations. Not acceptable. I guess I'll wait until Heaven...
1. What are your top 2 cities in the world? (It's okay if you've never been there!)
 |
| London |
 |
| Moscow |
2. Are you doing what you love or doing what you have to?
Yes and no. I love being a mom and I love my job. One of my biggest passions lies in worship ministry, which I am not doing. I have to trust God's timing on that one. I miss it.
3. Coffee or tea?
Yes! See T is for Tea.
4. Describe the moment in your life when you felt the most loved.
This question is a little too deep for my generally light-hearted blog. My God makes me feel the most loved, usually through rough times and intimate moments. My mom, hubby, sister and children make me feel most loved too.
5. Who do you think had the single biggest impact on your life so far?
The death of my sister.
6. What song lyrics say exactly what you're feeling right now?
"I hate that stupid old pick-up truck..."
7. Pro sports or college ball?
Dude. Pro all the way. Go Packers!
8. What book do you really, really want to see made into a movie?
Hmmm..... Hmmmm..... I never really get to the good books until they've already been made into a movie. I'd love to see The Shack as movie, but it would be impossible to capture. It would dumb it down to our visual limitations. Not acceptable. I guess I'll wait until Heaven...
Saturday, September 4, 2010
Nerf Initiation
My little sister is engaged to a kind, wonderful, conservative boy. Okay, he's not exactly a boy. He is a recent college grad entrenched in the madness of the upcoming election, and he is stationed in D.C.
It seems reasonable that he hasn't found the time to journey to Wisconsin to meet his future sister and brother-in-law, nephews and niece. But, I would like to submit to you that his busyness has nothing to do with it. I think he's afraid of this...
And this...........
Mr. Wonderful... we are waiting to meet you. What's the problem? Are you scared of a little Nerf dart?
Actually, we've seen pictures of his semi-automatic Nerf, of sorts, and we only have these little guns, so there is seemingly reason to falter. Still... there are many of us. We are not afraid.
Seriously though, once the Nerf-pelting is over, which is just a normal part of our day, we cannot wait to hug the future Uncle to my children and welcome him right in.
It seems reasonable that he hasn't found the time to journey to Wisconsin to meet his future sister and brother-in-law, nephews and niece. But, I would like to submit to you that his busyness has nothing to do with it. I think he's afraid of this...
And this...........
(Yes, that big boy is my husband.)
Actually, we've seen pictures of his semi-automatic Nerf, of sorts, and we only have these little guns, so there is seemingly reason to falter. Still... there are many of us. We are not afraid.
Seriously though, once the Nerf-pelting is over, which is just a normal part of our day, we cannot wait to hug the future Uncle to my children and welcome him right in.
Friday, August 20, 2010
T is for Tea
(That is phonetic fun! Say it out loud: "T is for Tea!" Haha.)
I used to be a tea fanatic. Other than water, tea was my drink of choice. Add a smidgen of honey and I was a happy girl.
Somewhere along the way, sometime after baby number three took over every last minute of my day it was replaced with coffee. Coffee has a way of giving you a swift kick in the rear, while tea calmly boosts or sooths the soul. I didn't have time for tea anymore, I think. (To be honest, I don't even remember the switch, those days are a bit blurry in the recall files.)
It's been coffee for many years now, with the occasional tea when I needed a change or a leisurely, cozy drink.
I've been having mild stomach issues lately. Maybe indigestion, nerves or a self-diagnosed stomach ulcer; perhaps h.pylori associated. And, just about everything I read on the ever reliable Internet suggests that caffeine can irritate things. DRAT! Or so I thought.
I was a bit headachey these last two days without my caffeine, but my stomachs been better. And now I find myself longing for my once forgotten cup of tea, with a splash of honey.
Instead of taking coffee to work tomorrow, I will take tea. Green Chai. That's been a favorite for a long time.
Perhaps it is time to introduce my baby girl to tea with Mommy. My boys have all had tea parties and special "tea moments" with me. Sometimes we have all gathered around the table and talked over tea. Other times I've had special one-on-one "tea talks" with my boys.
Tea has been an important part of our family life, which all originated with my Mom sharing her love of tea with me. It's time to regard tea once again.
I used to be a tea fanatic. Other than water, tea was my drink of choice. Add a smidgen of honey and I was a happy girl.
Somewhere along the way, sometime after baby number three took over every last minute of my day it was replaced with coffee. Coffee has a way of giving you a swift kick in the rear, while tea calmly boosts or sooths the soul. I didn't have time for tea anymore, I think. (To be honest, I don't even remember the switch, those days are a bit blurry in the recall files.)
It's been coffee for many years now, with the occasional tea when I needed a change or a leisurely, cozy drink.I've been having mild stomach issues lately. Maybe indigestion, nerves or a self-diagnosed stomach ulcer; perhaps h.pylori associated. And, just about everything I read on the ever reliable Internet suggests that caffeine can irritate things. DRAT! Or so I thought.
I was a bit headachey these last two days without my caffeine, but my stomachs been better. And now I find myself longing for my once forgotten cup of tea, with a splash of honey.
Instead of taking coffee to work tomorrow, I will take tea. Green Chai. That's been a favorite for a long time.
Perhaps it is time to introduce my baby girl to tea with Mommy. My boys have all had tea parties and special "tea moments" with me. Sometimes we have all gathered around the table and talked over tea. Other times I've had special one-on-one "tea talks" with my boys.
Tea has been an important part of our family life, which all originated with my Mom sharing her love of tea with me. It's time to regard tea once again.
S is for...
Saxophone. My oldest son is entering middle school this year. Music is required for the students (YES!), so he needed to decide where his interests lie. He tried cello and viola and trumpet, sax and clarinet and decided unequivocally that the saxophone was his instrument. He really is very much like his Dad, so I was not surprised, considering that was his instrument of choice as well.
In fact, our son will be playing that very same sax. It was in our basement for around twenty "ahem" years, so it smelled like mildew and mold and ick. The music shop is pretty much taking it apart and scouring it with Comet, so the instrument in this picture is our "Sub" sax, as my son has affectionately named him.
S is for Shaylee. My baby!!!!!! Wanna see how gorgeous this baby is?
S is for Sherri. I miss you sis! Eight-plus years without her. It still hasn't sunk in.
S is for Simple. Come on people! Let's not complicate things. Keep it simple. I'm a simple girl.
S is for Sunflower. I've seen some tall and beautiful ones in my days. This one was in my back yard several years back. It was supposed to be 4-6 feet tall. Hmmph. Sassy sunflower.
S is for Spaghetti, which is on the stove, so I better go.
S is the first letter in my last name and a simply, sumptuous sounding letter... sssssssssssssss... S.
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
Q is for Quiver
Happy is the man that has his quiver full of them... Psalm 127:5 AKJV
*However, my kids keep me on my toes. My character is challenged. My resilience is tested. My patience is a well exercised muscle.
Soon, I expect to be more and more cognitively challenged as my children progress in school. I already referred to references to "remember" things I once knew to help my 5th grader with homework. Now he will be in middle school. I'm looking forward to remembering algebra and American History, etc.
When I was little, I knew I wanted to grow up and be a mom. I also knew I wanted 3 children, close in age, which happened to be just the type of family I grew up in; until I was a teen, my little sister arrived. Lo and behold, we had 3 boys right in a row, then we added a fourth child after a several year gap.
My quiver is full. My quiver is fun. My children all have goofiness, like me, which I treasure. They are all creative and smart in very different ways. Being a mom is like digging through a never-ending treasure chest. Each day has new, beautiful things to discover. (Lest it all smell like roses, see above. *)
Life is good.
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
N is for Nana
The kids “Nana,” my stepmom, took us on vacation this week. It’s an adorable old log cabin on Kangaroo Lake. There are lots of fun things to do here; fishing, paddle-boats, RC boats, swimming, bonfire, games, etc. Endless fun for a family of six.
The best part of this vacation, however, has been our fun with Nana. She even swam so vigorously with the boys that she hurt her back. She is relentless when it comes to whooping it up with her grandchildren.
She makes up funny stories and feeds them junk food( (and fruit too.) She also had her cuddly, adorable and lovable mini-Yorkies with her (Desi & Lucy.)
The only bad thing is that Nana will only be here until today and we’ll have to enjoy the second half of our vacation without her. I’m sure we will have fun and make many awesome memories, but Nana will take her spark and unique zest for life with her.
Thanks for the great vacation Nana, but most of all, thank you for your love and presence. We love you.
The best part of this vacation, however, has been our fun with Nana. She even swam so vigorously with the boys that she hurt her back. She is relentless when it comes to whooping it up with her grandchildren.
She makes up funny stories and feeds them junk food( (and fruit too.) She also had her cuddly, adorable and lovable mini-Yorkies with her (Desi & Lucy.)
The only bad thing is that Nana will only be here until today and we’ll have to enjoy the second half of our vacation without her. I’m sure we will have fun and make many awesome memories, but Nana will take her spark and unique zest for life with her.
Thanks for the great vacation Nana, but most of all, thank you for your love and presence. We love you.
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
K is for Kangaroo
Kangaroo Lake, that is.
That is the destination for a much needed vacation. It couldn't have come at a better time. My hubby and I have been so busy we hardly see each other and the kids have noticed we're never together too. We will have one whole week of us all being in the same place at the same time. Lately, one hour of that is a treat, now we'll have over 170 hours of our nuclear family in the same place.
It's beginning to seem like the holy grail! I know we'll all get on each others nerves at some point, but this vacation truly seems like it will provide us all with tank refills. Each family member may have varying needs (emptied tanks), but I predict we will be filling them all with joy, laughter, rest, love, snuggles, fun, recognition, affirmation, attention, calmness....
Kangaroo Lake, her we come. You are our Pu'uhonau.
That is the destination for a much needed vacation. It couldn't have come at a better time. My hubby and I have been so busy we hardly see each other and the kids have noticed we're never together too. We will have one whole week of us all being in the same place at the same time. Lately, one hour of that is a treat, now we'll have over 170 hours of our nuclear family in the same place.
It's beginning to seem like the holy grail! I know we'll all get on each others nerves at some point, but this vacation truly seems like it will provide us all with tank refills. Each family member may have varying needs (emptied tanks), but I predict we will be filling them all with joy, laughter, rest, love, snuggles, fun, recognition, affirmation, attention, calmness....
Kangaroo Lake, her we come. You are our Pu'uhonau.
Saturday, July 10, 2010
C is for Connie
I have the best mother in the world. The reason my boys and I have such a great relationship (see B is for Boys) is because of my mom. She modeled it with me and my sisters. Her name is Connie.
I've grown up to be a little bit like her. My husband would say I'm a near carbon copy, except that I am about 6 inches taller than her, have freckled instead of olive skin and... well, that's about it.
We are song-writers, worship leaders, gardeners, coffee and tea drinkers. We enjoy the same food. We love the same reality TV shows, and discuss our matching opinions on the phone regarding them. Our spiritual outlook is the same. And so on, and so on.
My mom taught me how to be a good Mom, a loving supportive wife and my own person. She instilled in me the beauty of having a real, dynamic relationship with God.
My mom is always there when I need her. She makes time. She makes me feel like the most important person in the world and she does this with her husband and my sisters too.
I thank God for her all the time. I can't imagine who I'd be without her. I love you Mom! Thank you for being you and loving me and for the invaluable truths you have instilled in me.
I've grown up to be a little bit like her. My husband would say I'm a near carbon copy, except that I am about 6 inches taller than her, have freckled instead of olive skin and... well, that's about it.
We are song-writers, worship leaders, gardeners, coffee and tea drinkers. We enjoy the same food. We love the same reality TV shows, and discuss our matching opinions on the phone regarding them. Our spiritual outlook is the same. And so on, and so on.
My mom taught me how to be a good Mom, a loving supportive wife and my own person. She instilled in me the beauty of having a real, dynamic relationship with God.
My mom is always there when I need her. She makes time. She makes me feel like the most important person in the world and she does this with her husband and my sisters too.
I thank God for her all the time. I can't imagine who I'd be without her. I love you Mom! Thank you for being you and loving me and for the invaluable truths you have instilled in me.
Friday, July 9, 2010
B is for Boys
B is for Boys. I have three magnificent boys. My own personal version of "My Three Sons" (a show I watched religiously with my sisters as a little girl).
My boys are 11, 9 and 7. I adore them and they know it. And the best part is they adore me too. They come to me for snuggles and hugs. They tell me jokes and show me their inventions and creations. They know I am proud of them and always love them. I make it a point, especially during the difficult times for them like punishments and such, to say, "I always love you."
I have a goal for them, one common goal. I want them to grow up feeling valued, secure, loved and important just as they are so they can make their wives and children feel the same way. We all deserve that.
For now they are boys, but I plan for them to grow up to be magnificent men.
My boys are 11, 9 and 7. I adore them and they know it. And the best part is they adore me too. They come to me for snuggles and hugs. They tell me jokes and show me their inventions and creations. They know I am proud of them and always love them. I make it a point, especially during the difficult times for them like punishments and such, to say, "I always love you."I have a goal for them, one common goal. I want them to grow up feeling valued, secure, loved and important just as they are so they can make their wives and children feel the same way. We all deserve that.
For now they are boys, but I plan for them to grow up to be magnificent men.
Thursday, July 8, 2010
A is for Alzheimer's
My little sister is doing an alphabet blogging challenge, so I will join her. Here we go...
A is for Alzheimer's
If you've read my blog, you know that is an easy one. My life revolves around my immediate family, our business and my mother-in-law, who has Alzheimer's. What other A is there right now?
Let me just be honest and raw this time. Alzheimer's is a terrible disease. It takes away your loved one slowly, not physically, but in every other way. The person you knew disappears from the inside out. I wish I could be poetic and inspiring about it, but I can't.
Alzheimer's forces you to grieve your loved one long before they physically leave you. She was a strong, independent woman conquered adversity and took on the world alone as a young lady. Knowing she couldn't have children, after marrying the love of her life, she fearlessly adopted a toddler and a 6-month-old boy. She raised her sons right and loved them unconditionally. She thought of me as her own daughter, but usually can't remember how I am related to her anymore.
Alzheimer's stinks. Boooooo! Hopefully B will be a little brighter. I apologize.
A is for Alzheimer's
If you've read my blog, you know that is an easy one. My life revolves around my immediate family, our business and my mother-in-law, who has Alzheimer's. What other A is there right now?
Let me just be honest and raw this time. Alzheimer's is a terrible disease. It takes away your loved one slowly, not physically, but in every other way. The person you knew disappears from the inside out. I wish I could be poetic and inspiring about it, but I can't.
Alzheimer's forces you to grieve your loved one long before they physically leave you. She was a strong, independent woman conquered adversity and took on the world alone as a young lady. Knowing she couldn't have children, after marrying the love of her life, she fearlessly adopted a toddler and a 6-month-old boy. She raised her sons right and loved them unconditionally. She thought of me as her own daughter, but usually can't remember how I am related to her anymore.
Alzheimer's stinks. Boooooo! Hopefully B will be a little brighter. I apologize.
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
Hair Cuts
First of all... Party Foul! I haven't blogged for a month. I am sorry!
So... hair cuts. I've given many hair cuts in the last ten years. All but 3 have been given to my boys, though my oldest won't let me cut his hair anymore. Autonomy, I suppose. One was a trim of my mom's curly locks. Not much room for error there.
Another was a little over eight years ago when I cut my sister's hair, or what was left of it. After several intense rounds of chemo, all she had left was a few straggles for a meager ponytail which she let stick out the back of her baseball caps. Half-way during the hair cut, she needed to take a break to lay, curled up, on the kitchen floor to manage through her severe stomach pains (related to the damage to her internal organs from the constant drugs and treatment).
What was wonderful about this... I can't, still can't, believe even now that I can use the word wonderful for this. What was wonderful about this was that I knew it would be a precious memory that I would never, ever forget.
I eventually finished cutting her hair and she replaced her tan baseball cap with no more ponytail spilling out of the back. Her always gorgeous, long brown hair was gone forever. She died two months later.
I've remember that day many, many times; but never as vividly as today. Today I cut my mother-in-law's hair. She's too afraid to go out in public these days, so no more beauty shop visits. Her Alzheimer's has taken center stage. She is suspicious and confused. She won't leave her house, but wanted a hair cut.
While I cut her hair, she wasn't anxious or confused or afraid. She was relaxed, and played with her 17 month old grand-daughter. I pondered her future, soon to be in assisted living, gradually losing her grasp on the awareness of her own life. The matriarch of my family is dying; at least as we know her.
My mother-in-law's haircut was a much different circumstance than my sister's, yet my heart bound them tightly together. There is something very organic and real when you cut the hair of a suffering person, one whom you love deeply.
So... hair cuts. I've given many hair cuts in the last ten years. All but 3 have been given to my boys, though my oldest won't let me cut his hair anymore. Autonomy, I suppose. One was a trim of my mom's curly locks. Not much room for error there.
Another was a little over eight years ago when I cut my sister's hair, or what was left of it. After several intense rounds of chemo, all she had left was a few straggles for a meager ponytail which she let stick out the back of her baseball caps. Half-way during the hair cut, she needed to take a break to lay, curled up, on the kitchen floor to manage through her severe stomach pains (related to the damage to her internal organs from the constant drugs and treatment).
What was wonderful about this... I can't, still can't, believe even now that I can use the word wonderful for this. What was wonderful about this was that I knew it would be a precious memory that I would never, ever forget.
I eventually finished cutting her hair and she replaced her tan baseball cap with no more ponytail spilling out of the back. Her always gorgeous, long brown hair was gone forever. She died two months later.
I've remember that day many, many times; but never as vividly as today. Today I cut my mother-in-law's hair. She's too afraid to go out in public these days, so no more beauty shop visits. Her Alzheimer's has taken center stage. She is suspicious and confused. She won't leave her house, but wanted a hair cut.
While I cut her hair, she wasn't anxious or confused or afraid. She was relaxed, and played with her 17 month old grand-daughter. I pondered her future, soon to be in assisted living, gradually losing her grasp on the awareness of her own life. The matriarch of my family is dying; at least as we know her.
My mother-in-law's haircut was a much different circumstance than my sister's, yet my heart bound them tightly together. There is something very organic and real when you cut the hair of a suffering person, one whom you love deeply.
Sunday, June 6, 2010
Running Rules
Remember what I said in my last post about not liking running? Forget about it. Today, I love it!!!!!!!!
Last year I finished my first 5k in 39 minutes, 24 seconds. Today, I crushed that time at a speedy 34 minutes 45 seconds. Nearly 11 minute miles. Oh ya, baby!
I stared the race with a friend who planned to run it in less than 32 minutes, so she bacame my dangling carrot. She was wearing a bright pink shirt and if I could just keep her in my sites, I knew I'd be rockin' that course.
At the 2 mile marker, someone called out the time, "23 minutes!" What?!?!? Never in my wildest dreams! Based on my usual pace I was blowing my usual pace out of the water.
I was very winded and had to take several short walking breaks during the last mile. Still, I knew I was going to beat my time because my pink-shirted friend stayed in my sites until there was only a half mile to go.
I was chatting with a 72 year old woman on the course during the last mile. She kept going while I took a walking break and beat me by a minute. That does not bother me at all. This year, I actually stayed with the pack or runners, even if it was at the back. I felt good, I ran fast... for me.
My husband promised to be at the finish line with our kids. When I hit that home stretch, I knew I'd see them. I found a brand new energy and no longer felt winded. When I saw them, I easily picked up the pace. My baby was saying, "Mama, mama" and pointing at me. My boys were clapping and cheering. My husband was smiling from ear to ear.
After I passed them, I looked to the finish line and the race clock. Another "What?" moment occurred. It was 34 minutes and 20-something seconds. Holy cow! I knew I could break 35 minutes. I suddenly was able to sprint to the finish.
That was an amazing experience. I feel so satisfied. I can't wait to run again. I love running!
Last year I finished my first 5k in 39 minutes, 24 seconds. Today, I crushed that time at a speedy 34 minutes 45 seconds. Nearly 11 minute miles. Oh ya, baby!
I stared the race with a friend who planned to run it in less than 32 minutes, so she bacame my dangling carrot. She was wearing a bright pink shirt and if I could just keep her in my sites, I knew I'd be rockin' that course.
At the 2 mile marker, someone called out the time, "23 minutes!" What?!?!? Never in my wildest dreams! Based on my usual pace I was blowing my usual pace out of the water.
I was very winded and had to take several short walking breaks during the last mile. Still, I knew I was going to beat my time because my pink-shirted friend stayed in my sites until there was only a half mile to go.
I was chatting with a 72 year old woman on the course during the last mile. She kept going while I took a walking break and beat me by a minute. That does not bother me at all. This year, I actually stayed with the pack or runners, even if it was at the back. I felt good, I ran fast... for me.
My husband promised to be at the finish line with our kids. When I hit that home stretch, I knew I'd see them. I found a brand new energy and no longer felt winded. When I saw them, I easily picked up the pace. My baby was saying, "Mama, mama" and pointing at me. My boys were clapping and cheering. My husband was smiling from ear to ear.
After I passed them, I looked to the finish line and the race clock. Another "What?" moment occurred. It was 34 minutes and 20-something seconds. Holy cow! I knew I could break 35 minutes. I suddenly was able to sprint to the finish.
That was an amazing experience. I feel so satisfied. I can't wait to run again. I love running!
Saturday, May 15, 2010
Confused and Not Amused
My life has been in overdrive for about two weeks now. I've been surviving and coping because of adrenaline and caffeine. And sometimes, just not coping.
I broke down, sobbing while driving to the medical clinic this last week. My mother-in-law sat next to me and was none-the-wiser, though my baby girl, in the back seat, was trying to mimic my strange sounds. She noticed.
My mother-in-law had just finished railing into me, telling me I lie and I am going to hell. It wasn't because she used to ever believe that. We've always had a marvelous relationship. It's because she is confused.
A month ago, her doctor, her neurologist, had finally committed to saying that she has "Onset Alzheimer's." But somehow, since then, she has plummeted into the intermediate stages of it. Out of respect for her, I won't even write about most of her struggle these last few weeks.
Today she was adamant that a picture of her, her husband and my husband and brother-in-law as kids, was none of those such people.
I talk with my kids almost every day about their Naana, trying to help them navigate through this rapid change. They can no longer have a conversation with their grandmother because they lack the maturity to redirect, comfort or make some level of sense out of what she is saying. They are losing their grandmother right in front of my eyes. It is breaking my heart.
My mother-in-law speaks of wishing to die every day. She is losing the ability to care for herself in the most basic ways. It is a stomach-turning, stressful reality. Her sons and I are doing all we can, which at this moment is just doing the next thing (because the bigger picture is so overwhelming.) I've realized we were unprepared in almost every way for such a rapid decline.
Sometimes her sons and I feel so overwhelmed we land in our own moments of confusion. But we are pulling together. We are being forced to practice patience beyond what we thought we were capable of. We are leaning on each other. We are communicating continuously. We are sharing encouragement and support. We are being a family, one step at a time.
I broke down, sobbing while driving to the medical clinic this last week. My mother-in-law sat next to me and was none-the-wiser, though my baby girl, in the back seat, was trying to mimic my strange sounds. She noticed.
My mother-in-law had just finished railing into me, telling me I lie and I am going to hell. It wasn't because she used to ever believe that. We've always had a marvelous relationship. It's because she is confused.
A month ago, her doctor, her neurologist, had finally committed to saying that she has "Onset Alzheimer's." But somehow, since then, she has plummeted into the intermediate stages of it. Out of respect for her, I won't even write about most of her struggle these last few weeks.
Today she was adamant that a picture of her, her husband and my husband and brother-in-law as kids, was none of those such people.
I talk with my kids almost every day about their Naana, trying to help them navigate through this rapid change. They can no longer have a conversation with their grandmother because they lack the maturity to redirect, comfort or make some level of sense out of what she is saying. They are losing their grandmother right in front of my eyes. It is breaking my heart.
My mother-in-law speaks of wishing to die every day. She is losing the ability to care for herself in the most basic ways. It is a stomach-turning, stressful reality. Her sons and I are doing all we can, which at this moment is just doing the next thing (because the bigger picture is so overwhelming.) I've realized we were unprepared in almost every way for such a rapid decline.
Sometimes her sons and I feel so overwhelmed we land in our own moments of confusion. But we are pulling together. We are being forced to practice patience beyond what we thought we were capable of. We are leaning on each other. We are communicating continuously. We are sharing encouragement and support. We are being a family, one step at a time.
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